Distance

Distance is not the best word in my life today.
Distance is the word to describe the miles in between my boyfriend Matthew and I for over a month now.
Distance is the word that kept me from celebrating my mom’s birthday with her yesterday.
Distance is the word that tells about all the miles I travel with 1GN and sometimes can cause me to get really tired and anxious.
Distance is how long I feel it is from paycheck to paycheck.
Distance is the word that can some days even describe my relationship with God if I’m not careful and become selfish with my time.

The past few weeks of my life, I feel that God has been speaking to me in ways I never knew possible through this “distance”. Last week, the girls and I were fortunate enough to travel to Newfoundland, Canada and experience the beautiful landscape and wonderful people in that area. We had one day in particular where we got to visit Signal Hill in St. Johns. It was the first moment in a really long time where I was able to just stop and breath and look out at God’s creation. The four of us don’t get to do that often on the road so it was a special treat. It was in that moment when I feel that God gave me a peace about life. You see, living paycheck to paycheck and being away from people you love for even months at a time isn’t necessarily the life I thought I was signing up for. It isn’t the glamorous life you might see on my Instagram feed. It is full time ministry that the enemy hates. Satan wants me to feel like I don’t have enough….or Matthew isn’t around so I am not fulfilled…or (a really convicting one for me right now) the amount of distance between my quiet times is acceptable because I am busy on the road….or numerous other thoughts. I have felt spiritual warfare lately like crazy. On stage and off. Physical and mentally. But what I have learned is that God sees me and is making me better and stronger each day. Every day that I feel weak or unsatisfied, I remember that in 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” When all the distance in the world lies on my back, I remember that God will not leave me or forsake me and I can find my joy in Him. Not my boyfriend. Not my family. Not my job. Not even music. But in Christ alone. Distance cannot bring me down. Distance, like the old saying, can only make the heart grow fonder. I feel that lately distance has caused me to rely on Jesus and the Holy Spirit alone to satisfy and bring me the peace that I felt at the top of the mountain at Signal Hill. When I looked out that day in Newfoundland at God’s creation, my 3 sisters, and I thought of my amazing family, I felt blessed beyond belief. I realized that I have all that I need in Christ and I am never alone. Maybe today YOU are feeling alone. Maybe you feel like there is distance between you and a loved one, you and Jesus, or distance between you and a peace that passes all understanding. I encourage you that God is with you and wants to bring you an unexplainable joy in your life. He wants to be what closes that gap in the distance. He wants to be peace, hope, and the love in your life. I want to share with you a song that I feel has spoken to me the past few weeks and I was one of the people who wrote it!?! (It’s funny how God will do that sometimes) Kayli and I wrote this song with a producer friend of ours when we felt like nobody else could understand what we were going through.

There’s no such thing as an unseen tear
Even in the dark, when it’s all unclear
There’s no such thing as an unheard prayer
Even when it seems, like no one’s there

Hold on
Just breath
Be still
You’ll see you’re safe
You’re loved
Just know
There’s no such thing as alone
There’s no such thing as alone

There’s no such thing as an unfelt hurt
There’s someone else who’s felt it first
There’s no such thing as an unloved heart
There’s eyes on you wherever you are

Hold on
Just breath
Be still
You’ll see you’re safe
You’re loved
Just know
There’s no such thing as alone

God is with us and loves us. He says in Matthew 20 that He is with us always, to the very end of the age. Maybe distance is the place God wants us to live in so we rest in these promises alone.

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5 comments

  1. Lauren · October 15, 2014

    Well said! And such beautiful lyrics! This was definitely something I needed to be reminded about today. 🙂

  2. Karli · October 16, 2014

    Oh. My. GOSH. This has literally been my life the past few weeks! I’m a college student and a nanny to SIX kids. I’ve been working overtime only to have to use my money for gas and family emergencies. I’m constantly in my car, going, going, going! I’ve felt so tired and just needed some kind of encouragement. THIS POST DID THAT. Thank you, Carmen! Your blog posts always move me so much! Praying for you!

  3. Rach · October 30, 2014

    Love the blog, Carmen. Just keep going, and always remember who you are and Whose you are. 🙂 He’ll get you and 1 Girl Nation through anything and everything. As Kayli likes to say, “Hold on to Jesus.”

    Oh, and P.S. LOVE 1 Girl Nation! 😀

  4. praiseajewole · November 10, 2014

    Thank you for your inspiring encouragement Carmen. God is with us always. There is no such thing as alone.

  5. Lydia · December 17, 2014

    OMG.,Carmen,that’s amaizing and really really inspiring and encouraging. Thanx for sharing, and we love You and 1 GN too:-)

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