Recap. Step Back.

As I sit in my room, the day after Christmas, I am recapping the past year. I just looked through my calendar and journal to see what I have been up to for the past 365 days…

This time last year, I was about to go back to school at Belmont University. I was looking at songs to arrange for the group I was in, Session, and resting my brain from all the papers I had written the semester before about Mozart and melodic minor scales. I was also finishing up some choreography for my dance classes and leading worship occasionally at Long Hollow Baptist Church. I had no clue what the coming year would bring. In the beginning of 2012, I had a steady group of friends and was dating a guy I thought I would end up marrying. I also had an internship lined up at a local music publishing company and was starting to work on my solo pop/rock artist career. Honestly, I thought I had it ALL figured out. I didn’t know exactly all the details, but in my mind, I had pretty much mapped out what my life would look like.

Boy was I wrong.

The summer changed everything…

At the end of May, the creative director at my church, Jason, told me about an audition for an all girls Christian pop group. In my mind, I thought “Hmmm… I sing. I dance. I love God. Sure why not?!” I sent in a video and within a week I was contacted as part of the top 15 girls.

At the end of June, the relationship I was in ended. End of the world right? Well… at the time I thought so. Two weeks later was the audition week for the girl group. We stayed in apartments in Brentwood for the whole week and spent every day singing, dancing, recording, going to interviews, and in mentoring sessions. They narrowed it down to 8 girls on Tuesday and then made the final cut to 5 girls on Thursday. The following day we had a photo shoot and met with the president of the label we would be signing with. Woah. Literally to call it the most intense week of my life would be an understatement. I went home on that Friday and was VERY overwhelmed. So much was changing. So much to take in. I was so excited yet so scared. I wanted so badly to talk to the guy I was formerly dating and couldn’t. I wanted my parents and they weren’t there. I wanted my roommate to be home and she wasn’t there. But it was in that moment when I felt God the most. I felt him telling me that everything in my life was about to change and that I needed to listen to where he was taking me.

So I listened.

Over the next few weeks, the other 4 girls and I made arrangements to move into a house together, got a lawyer to work out contracts, and I dropped out as a student at Belmont. Since the girls have moved to Nashville, we have been meeting with our management and label teams, writing music, recording, and getting to know each other. You would think that 5 girls living in one house would be absolutely chaotic (and sometimes it is) but we really have become sisters. I have met the coolest and most talented people and have made the best friends I have ever had. It is the craziest situation I’ve ever been in, but it feels so God ordained. There is no way we could have all come together as a band without God having his hand over this project.

I look at the year as a whole and there is one common theme throughout all the seasons: guidance. I feel like God has truly guided my steps this year, sometimes without me knowing it. There were times this year when I had absolutely no clue what God was doing. I wanted to figure out everything going on around me all by myself and forgot that he had my situations all in his control. I encourage anyone reading my blog post to take time to listen to God. He is with you no matter what season you are going through right now. A great quote I heard one time was “God will open and shut doors, but he is also guiding you in the hallways.” As I go into 2013, I’m excited for things to come and how God will guide me! I can’t wait for the adventures I will go on and people I will get to meet!! Let’s make the most of 2013!!

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

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One comment

  1. Andrew H · January 10, 2013

    Very inspirational, so happy for you Carmen and all of the amazing things happening in your life. Good luck on this awesome journey that you’re now living, I know you’re going to do great things. God bless..

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